“I’m not into Asian males.” I am able to attribute this estimate a number of friends and acquaintances, and also the thing that is funny, most of them were Asian.
Which begs the question: why? I sometimes ask that aloud. Often the reaction could be a non-answer: silence, an interest change or “ I don’t just know, I’m maybe not into them.”
I’m not saying that Asians alone are responsible of rejecting men that are asian. If anything, we’re likelier than many other groups to provide them a chance. Nor should we feel obligated to constrain our options to Asian males. But too often, Asians are since guilty as anybody in refusing to see men that are asian sexual partners. Plus they don’t question why.
Perhaps it’s unjust of me to assume what you suggest when you say you’re maybe not into Asian men. But having been fed stereotypes about Asian guys again and again, it’s easy to place two and two together. What might just appear to be a harmless non-preference for folks of your personal race may really just be the result of internalized self-racism.
Evidently as Asians, we’re, as a collective, little, meek and effeminate. What this means is that individuals Asian women — as an Uber driver told me once — are “real women,” with tight fits, small, pliable figures with no viewpoints.
The guys, meanwhile, aren’t manly sufficient. They’re supposedly maybe not “well endowed,” and as Asians, they’ve been raised to be submissive and quiet. Useful qualities for women, thus our charm! However therefore for guys.
Perhaps you buy into other urban myths about Asians. That we’re homophobic and racist. That we’re book-smart but away from touch with politics. That individuals aren’t creative or conversationalists that are good. Those are all unattractive characteristics. But simply as these stereotypes usually do not define you, they do not define the males who appear to be you.
You may already know that these stereotypes are nonsense. You might protest that you’re not into Asian guys not because you’re racist. How can you be, anyway, once you your self are Asian? It is merely a normal choice, you want “manly men,” you can’t help it to, and besides, you have actually Asian male friends. You’re just not enthusiastic about having sex using them.
It’s worth every penny, but, to take a moment to look at this “natural” preference for non-Asian men. To acknowledge that somewhere deep down, you may have internalized these stereotypes and that rejecting guys because of their ethnicity, because they’re Asian, is racism. To also examine the factors that are sociocultural grew up with and understand that it is perhaps not totally your fault.
Growing up, most of the media we ingested was at English, so the majority of the male that is romantic I became familiar with were white men in white movies. My experience with Asian males (or men really) had been mostly limited to family relations and immature pubescent men within my predominantly 
Korean school. Therefore the white fictional characters I felt male partners should be that I fell in love with were my models for how.
Whenever there were Asian male figures in Western media, they certainly were typically a way to obtain comic relief — sometimes offensive — or some kind of professional ( just like a medical practitioner) who was simply pretty much an expositional prop. These people were at most useful likable, at worst stereotypical. They certainly were rarely intimate, seldom sexy.
It’s real that, United states media aside, the global world is becoming keen on Asian entertainment. But even representation within Asian media renders one thing become desired. In Korea, you will find only so many different forms of systems entertainment companies favor, and recently, they like their guys slim and androgynous. That will feed into the misconception that Asian guys are inherently effeminate and small. Possibly that sort of physicality does appeal to you n’t. But keep in mind that these men are merely a sliver regarding the Asian male population.
You can also wish to ask yourselves: If you’re perhaps not enthusiastic about Asian males, who are you thinking about? White men? That’s part of why white guys are therefore obsessed with Asian women, most likely — evidently with them, we’re effortless. And all too often, for Asian women with conservative families, they’re truly the only other racial team that we could break free with marrying.
The truth that is ugly, some of our relatives and buddies see having white friends as some kind of social advancement. Oh, you have white buddies in university? You’re so cultured. You’re dating a man that is white? Wow [Average Joe] is so handsome, you’re so lucky, i would like one too.
Maybe you’re turned off by the basic idea of marrying into a household that takes traditions you’re not any longer in touch with seriously. Perchance you was raised in a neighborhood that is predominantly white love what’s familiar.
Or maybe you’re making a aware, well-meaning choice to reject the toxic obsession with alleged blood purity that pervades some of our countries. Maybe you’re maybe not into Asian males however you really don’t like putting men that are white a pedestal either. You opt for other minorities and pride yourself in being that is“rebellious “open-minded.”
But maybe it’s time to look at people as people. Maybe people are significantly more than ethnicities or cultures to reject or take to.
Perhaps, once you say “I’m not into Asian men,” you’re reinforcing harmful myths about males whom appear to be you. Perhaps you’re even reinforcing myths about your self. Maybe it is time you realize: Asian men is as sexy as other guys. And when you’ve realized that, remind your self you, as an Asian, can be sexy too.
Sarah Y. Kim is a junior double-majoring in Writing Seminars and International Studies from Walnut Creek, Calif. She actually is the Opinions Editor.